Wednesday, March 7, 2018

I Love You. - God

Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
- John 13.7

If I take a look back on my personal life since 6.3.17 which I use that date because that was the point God grabbed me to use me, yet at the same time woke me to myself I sit in amazement. If someone would of told me everything that would happen to me since then I would laugh. I say that because a lot of times we put God in a box. We carve out the way we think things should be, yet in God's relentless pursuit He comes to our rescues even if we don't think we need a rescue. I started a prayer room in September 2015 because I wanted to go deeper with God. I was struggling in my prayer life, mostly because I wasn't seeing God answer my prayers and I was very discouraged. When you've prayed over and over day after day year after year and nothing changes you get discouraged. Yet it never kept me from pursuing even harder The Lord, because I Love Him so much. I wanted to share with you guys about some of the things I struggle with to give you hope that God hasn't forgotten you. And how I feel that at times. On 8.31.17 God gave me a very powerful word. It literally broke me inside and made me cry right in BJ's where He spoke it to me. From that point (almost) I made a decision not to let go of the Word He gave me. The almost was entailed in fact, by many attempts to do away with it, fast it away, ignore it, everything because really I was being me, being very hard on myself, trying to figure it all out and the why instead of just receiving His Word and letting Him work it all out. I realized I didn't want to be a Jonah in rebellion to God, so I finally totally surrendered a couple months later.

God uses His Divine power to get our attention and it will affect the faith of others. Although God's Word to me hasn't be fulfilled all together, many things have happened thus far and I know that I know that I know it will be fulfilled because He said it. My life is in His hands and He can do what He wants, it's the safest place to be. It is always the safest place for you too.

Today if God has given you a word, hold on to it and never let it go. Sometimes we have to walk through very fearful situations to reach the door that He will open. But during that time it's important to keep your mind on things above and to continue to renew you mind in His Word. The enemy will try and come against your mind, so you need to be in His word completely trusting in Him each step of the way. We might feel fear but we don't succumb. There have been many times in the past that I let fear get the best of me and didn't walk through doors God gave me. It caused many consequences for choosing fear over faith. Since those times of the past, with complete surrender to God, I've walked into fearful situations from courtrooms to places far away and came out totally free. Please know this, fear is a liar! God Loves you and will never ever put fear on you, but will give you the power of Love and a sound mind.

Remember, that God Loves you with an everlasting kind of Love and no matter what He will Love you. You are incredibly special to Him, you must be He only created one of you. Be encouraged today that God will make all things work out for your good, because He is good and that is a beautiful thing!

I say over and over again everyday I Love You God.

I just Love Him.  

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Beautiful you!

In that hour Jesus rejoiced in the Spirit and said, I thank You Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and revealed them to babes. Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in Your sight.  
- Luke 10.21

I Love this! These things are revealed to babes! That is beyond beautiful. Love it!
You are beautiful Jesus, you are the most beautiful, the most glorious.

In the summer of 2017 God revealed some things to me. I was really struggling in some areas of my heart and was really upset with myself. I mean really upset with myself. It was like God sent me on an assignment and then I got my heart involved. Yet when I cried out the Lord told me that He had put those things in my heart. I cried more. After that God began to change my heart completely and tell me more things to come. I am so thankful. I have many dreams, a heart full of God and I am ready to step into my God-given purposes. I am overwhelmed by His Love and kindness.

Today, if you find yourself troubled by things that God might have changed in your heart for the better, just embrace it. God is control of everything that goes on in our lives. Even if it's really hard, continue to press into what God has given you. Don't give up. God will never leave you, He is with you and He will never guide you wrong. God created you with a uniqueness and He knows very well what you need. He Loves you. 

As some of you begin your journey into the free world take those God-given things and really plug into all that God has for you. Don't waste a minute pursue everything He has given you. Life is too short to sit by and watch your life pass you by. May God give you all the desires in your heart and make all your plans succeed more than you could ever imagine.

Beautiful you.
Blessed you.
Beloved you.

You got this!
God's got you!

The power of The Cross has set you free.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Fresh Start

Happy 2018.

The goal I pursue is the prize of God's upward call in Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 3.14 

As I sat down to write out all my goals that I like to obtain in this New Year, I reflected back on years prior. I keep every year of things I set out to do, so referencing back helps me to see where I am out. As I looked through the last 5 years, Loving God and Loving others was always on the top. It still is for this New Year.  So I say to you what is your goal or goals for 2018? Whatever goals you've made for the New Year, let me suggest to you putting God at the top of that list. Let this be your year of a Fresh Start with the Lord. 

God first in everything. 

I've learned that whatever you do first is most powerful in your life. In Genesis 1v1 it says In the beginning "God" created the heavens and the earth. Which clearly means God made it known He is to be first. I know this might be hard for you, but keep it simple. When you wake up in the morning, before you do anything start with 5 minutes by thanking Him for waking you up. If you have access to music than play a worship song and just sing to Him. The next 5 minutes you can pray which is simply talking to Him. And the last 5 minutes you can read a chapter of the Bible. This is just a suggestion for you to get on a path to put Him first. As you develop a discipline because you Love Him you will find that your time with Him will grow. 

Let your First Love be Jesus this New Year. Let Him use you in anyway He so desires. He knows what is best for you. I prayerfully and bountifully thank God for you all. 

May your 2018 be filled with freshness of the Living waters that only Jesus can give. He is crazy in Love with you and wants to do incredible things in and through your life. He has so much for you, I promise! 

You are worth respecting, knowing and more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Step out into a fresh start of all the beautiful things God wants to give you and that is promised to you in His word. It's a beautiful thing.

Life is a gift. Give it to the Giver of Life. 

Thursday, December 7, 2017

The Love of the Light

I am the light of the world. 
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life. - Jesus 
John 8:12

December is a beautiful month celebrating the birth of Our Savior Jesus Christ. It is also a very hard time for many that have lost family and friends and those who are alone. Let's not us forget them and pray for God's Love to be upon them during this time. 

As we approach the closing of a year into the New Year lets reflect on all the memories and moments we had. May we always seek to Love the Lord with all our hearts. May we always be obedient to His Word and to things He calls us to do.  May we embrace the New Year with gladness for all God has done in our lives and still yet to do. 

God Loves you so much.

For God so Loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. -John 3:16

That is the gift, The Love of the Light... Jesus!

Praying you have a very Blessed Christmas & New Year.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

The Scavenger Hunt

A scavenger hunt in case your not familiar is a party game, an outdoor game in which participants have to collect a number of miscellaneous objects on a list created by the organizer. It's actually fun. The last time I played was with friends on St. Augustine Beach until recently I played the game with God. Back in St. Augustine I just had my girl scout knowledge and a determination to win, but this time around I had my Bible and prayer. I took this journey led by God completely, nobody knew about it. But the thing was I told God I will do these things to disprove what He was telling me was true. Like in the movie God's not Dead, the devout Christian student must prove the existence of God to his professor, I was set out to disprove not God but things about myself that He was telling me. It's like is that me God? Or is that you speaking? God gave me His list of items to do and not to do. I followed intently with prayer and my Bible. A journey that I may share one day, but for now it remains with God and I. This invested time for eternity sake proved to be one of the most beautiful in awe times in my life with God. He revealed way more than I was asking for about myself, others and life. But He is like that as the Bible tells us in Ephesians 3:20- Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ask or think. 

Today you sit on your bunk hanging with your bunky or at chow or your the one at work in the free world reading this. This message is for you today. God loves you. God is crazy madly in love with you. But God wants to hear from you, it's been way too long. He misses you. Your struggles have been more than He ever wanted for you and He has never been blind to them. He has been relentlessly seeking you with His Love. Will you consider today to take your own scavenger hunt with the Lord? Will you consider investing sometime in with Him to draw closer to Him? The girl reading this in confinement, you can do this too, just start by talking to Him. If your not sure about all this, perhaps take the rest of November and thank God each day for something. He is worthy to be praised and thanked. I promise you if you take the time to hang with God you will be refreshed with clarity, liberty, boldness, sensitivity, insight and free from all the petty worries around you that will not matter in the bigger picture. I pray in Jesus Name you wait no longer and start today! I'm believing for you and if nobody has told you lately, you are loved and special. Your so special that He only created one you. Be yourself and if you think of it, look up, God is an amazing artist, literally the best.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

The Judge & The Jury Box

When I was 14 years old I went to youth hall which is like a jail for kids. I was placed there for something I didn't do. After about two months the Judge placed me in a half way girls home for about a month. This was my first experience with judges and it started a fear cycle in my life. This person was able to take away my freedom.

Many years later I got involved with a guy who went to jail and prison many times for stealing large amounts of money from places like fast food chains to banks to bakeries to neighbors. He also had a drug problem. I was in and out of courts with him and felt that fear once again of a judge having that control over his freedom and well mine too.

Then years later I married Steve. I spent literally over 10 years as his paralegal, counsel and the Pro Se behind the scene. I had no peace as with each court hearing something else happened or didn't happen and once again at the mercy of a judge. The fear grew deep within even though I was not the subject at hand, just entering into a court room or the thought of one made me full of fear and to be honest literally sick.

I knew my fears yet I didn't think it was something that was a big deal in my life since court hearings eventually end. However, the end still leaves you with yourself. In January of 2012 I got a summons for Jury Duty back in Miami. I had them numerous times in the past and dealt with it. This time I was so fear stricken that when Steve asked me what I wanted for valentine's I told him get me out of going to jury duty. I was at the end of recovering from knee surgery so it was all good and I was back happy, but yet nothing was really resolved within my heart.  

On August 1, 2013 we moved to Davenport and within in a few months I got a jury notice as seen in the picture above. I began crying out to God for help. That fear rose up and I knew I was in total bondage of a Judge who really was just a man or a woman. I fasted and God showed me that they are just people. They sleep, eat, get dressed just like me. I am no different than them and He created them like me. He also reminded me that if I could kneel and fall on my face with Him I could stand up to any giant in my life. I reported for Jury Duty, feeling better but still somewhat uneasy. Out of the pool of 500 of course I was one of the ones selected for a jury questioning. As I began to enter the courtroom my name was called separate from everyone else... of course it was...I was placed in the "Jury Box". This is the place where they asked you more questions than the other perspective jurors. After it was over I had a peace come over me and I believed I was totally free of the fear of man. 

God put me to the test in 2016 when I was placed in Federal Court and had no fear and won the case in the middle of 2017! A true David and Goliath story. So I said all that to say this. There are many of you that are in fear of man or the judge in your case because they hold your future. Please hear me..only GOD holds your future. He is the one that no matter what you've done or haven't done He loves you and He goes before you. DO NOT place a judge or a person above GOD! He is the only One that holds your future and when you place your trust in Him you will find peace and be kept safe.

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25. 

Today, honestly I have zero fear of man. God has made me totally strong in my weakness because I have placed my trust in Him and Him alone. He is in control no matter what. I pray if you struggle with a judge with pending court hearings or with your boss, your family and friends whoever that you too will lay it down and let Him free you in Jesus Name. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. I promise you that He will free you as He did me! And just so you know...I'm thankful for God pushing me past what I couldn't handle in that Jury Box because now I only fear out of Love the Judge on The Throne. 

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Don't Delay

The year was 2008 and as I secretly prayed about things pressing on my heart for ministry and our marriage as Steve was heading to treatment for the second time. He went to Teen Challenge, which is an on fire Christian based center. While he was away I got closer and closer to God. During which God began showing me through many circumstances from speaking to my heart, to dreams, to people and things that were just not explainable what His plans were for us. I didn't say anything to Steve. After Steve got out we went to Idaho as seen in the picture above. He began sharing with me what he believed God was calling him to and that was to be a Pastor. I couldn't believe what he was saying because it was exactly what God showed me too during the time we were apart. God also showed me about serving on the streets to the homeless that Christmas Eve 2008 and loving on them through the Heart of Christ. Which as your know Surrender40 was birthed the following year in 2009. Steve was excited and he began by enrolling in Liberty University to get his degree in Biblical Studies and I decided to enroll too. Our Church was very supportive and actually offered for Steve to go to there school in Fort Lauderdale through Calvary yet Steve was working a full-time job and that wasn't possible. 
We both finished schooling in 2010 and then he lost his job. We continued to serve on the streets feeding the homeless, we served in prisons and hospital outreaches. People even started calling him Pastor without even knowing he was in school. We used to say that he was a Pastor of a Church Without Walls. 
From late 2010 to January of 2012 we suffered much tragedy. We basically lost everything but each other and our faith in God. Most of our suffering we wrote about in our book. 

"It is doubtful whether God can use a man greatly, until first He wounds him deeply." A.W. Tozer

In 2012 God totally began restoring us. At which point we were led through church to move to Mobile, AL. We both believed this was God restoring what the enemy tried to steal. I won't go into the why's we didn't proceed, all I can say is that other opportunities came and that was the path taken. Today, Steve is suffering in many areas from trading in what I would say the altar for a tie. Now that isn't bad, he felt that was right at the time for us, but now he knows it's not. We do our best in living as transparent as possible so you don't make the same mistakes as us. 

I am urged to no end to tell you DON'T DELAY when God calls you to do something. Many of you girls will be getting out soon and you will have so many things thrown at you. But please take the time to really fall in Love with Jesus and He will direct your path. Please surrender to that path, not what looks pretty or great, because it is usually in the things that we least would want to do is where He is calling you too. This might be moving to another state to serve in your church or to take a job at the Pizza place. Whatever it is, don't settle for God's second best, pursue with all your heart His first best. In closing I also implore you to first fall madly and crazy in love with Jesus before you pursue any relationships. When the time is right God will bring the right man in your life, one who is madly in love with Jesus and puts you second. It's not when a man loves a women, it's when a man loves God.

Steve and I are happy, yet we suffer in some areas from choices that we believe God is slowly fixing. I love him with all my heart, yet my first love remains Jesus. If Steve was writing this post he would tell you the same and possibly more deeply because him being the leader of the home has shed many tears from selecting second best. 
I am thankful for us and his willingness to make wrongs right. 

For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you 
will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

...let us run with endurance the race God has set before us 
by keeping our eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:1b-2a


Much Love and Blessings